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BOO 100 word chalenge # 6

Posted by on 19/10/2012

Me and Daisy where walking down the dark alley that we always went thughou when we go home from school. Suddenly we heard a chitter chater, whispering, split splat, giggling, .The ladder leaning on the wall moved and there was shadows everywere. I  said to Daisy “what is that” but Daisy said “I don’t know” there was now a dark figer heading towards us we sreamed “AAAAAHHHHHHH” but nobody coul hera us.”Boo “all are school friends jumped out at us we all larved and fell to the wet and soggy grou n we all scramballd up and ran bake home.              

8 Responses to BOO 100 word chalenge # 6

  1. Mrs. Doebley (Team 100WC)

    JJ,
    I like this phrase, “. . . chitter chater, whispering, split splat, giggling.” The reader should have guessed with all that going on that it was your mates! Here’s a tip: Don’t use “me” in the subject. It should read: Daisy and I. Good 100WC–keep up the good work. (English Teacher,Ocean City, NJ, USA)

  2. Yahya

    Dear …. ,
    I really like your story becuse you have created suspence to hook your reader sand then end with a funny ending. Next time you could make sure that you check you 100WC to make sure that you have spelt every thing correctly, and maybe in you next peice of writing you could make sure that you add intresting oppeners such as ‘Suddenly’ and ‘Consequently’.
    Hope to hear from you
    From your friend Yahya at
    http://www.6d2012.highlawnprimary.net

  3. jordan

    Hi very good story i like how you guys said that it was there class mates the whole time but remember to check you spelling.

    great work :]

    by jordan SA Australia

  4. Kate Ramsay (Team 100WC)

    What a scary 100WC! Very well written and I liked how you changed it from scary to funny.
    I think a next step would be to double check your spellings when you write, plus if you use a dictionary you might find new interesting words to use! 🙂

  5. Milla

    that was really good. cant wait to read another one:)

  6. Kathy @ Team 100WC

    JJ I loved your scary story and all the fun words you used to describe the noise you heard. Keep up the good work writing on the 100WC.

  7. Anna

    JJ i like the way that you made it scary to funny.

  8. Mr Sandall

    Fab 100 word post JJ. I like the way you changed the atmosphere mid writing from scary to funny.

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